Outside of the new Guardians, a Marvel franchise that actually works, it’s been a minute since the last time I sat down to watch a new MCU film. The tabloids, in the past year, have eviscerated Marvel. The box office is falling off and it’s no longer a guaranteed hit. Those days seem gone. So, with the nuclear winter of theaters and post-Avengers on the horizon, thought it would be worthwhile to check out the newest full release film and see if any claims of dying out were justified…and holy shit, the press annihilating the MCU’s current direction undersold how dog shit awful the product has become.
It’s not a matter of audience fatigue, or SAG strikes, it’s the product being horribly mismanaged. The Marvels, which I had no idea tied into the television show ‘Mrs. Marvel’ (2022), is a new low for the MCU. Truly. It makes me yearn for the days of Chris Evans, Chris Hemsworth, and any other Chris actors Fiege hired to star as superheroes. And, I hated those movies but when comparing the polish in the script, direction and visual language of those films to whatever the hell Nia DaCosta is trying to accomplish with ‘The Marvels…’ it’s night and day. Starting with the caveat that watching the show is vital to understanding these newly introduced characters, and jumping in full steam ahead into the meat of the plot gave me whiplash. Second, the structure of the screenplay is incredibly disjointed and the plot device of rotating characters on screen at any given moment didn’t help. Moreover, the dialogue is simply beyond the definition of awful. Marvel humor as a concept is a destructive force, but at least there’s a tiny chuckle in those moments, here, it’s a wack ass attempt at funny. The tone fluctuates between genuine and easy-going and it all feels fake as fuck. The sundae cherry being the villian fits the mold of typical Marvel villian – no discernable qualities or personality, very little development, and no investment in motivations for the character.
For most of its run time, the story felt as if it was a Cosmic high-school drama with bits of space travel thrown in the middle, considering the villiany aspect feels completely unimportant next to a girl finding her way. Unfortunately, the writing extends to the acting and this cast never had a chance. I’ve never seen Samuel L. Jackson more wooden and lame in my life. Most Brie Larson lines were painful. I can’t tell if she’s giving no effort or if direction is to play it that way. Either way, it’s awful. Imani Vellani being the one saving grace to this film – she’s the only one not trying to play it forward and straight at all times. One of the worst movies of 2023, but credit to the VFX artist for pulling off some visual feats. I could list other failings, but whats the point of that?
Review: ☆ (20)
Verdict: not weird
Weird Cinema 